ways to make me angry, pt.1

1. stop and stare into my office window every time you walk down the hall. not to be confused with a passing glance or short wave "hello" while you hurry by. no, this is more of a "stop and stare at me while i'm in the middle of very important things and wait for me to look up and acknowledge you" type of thing. see also: tapping on glass until i look up from my computer. this is not a zoo/pet shop and if it were there are usually signs restricting you from doing that type of thing so really its not ok no matter how you look at it.
2. silence in a bathroom stall. i already despise public restrooms, but please help to make my experience a little more enjoyable by avoiding that whole "sitting very still" thing. the door is locked, so yes, i believe i've already caught you in the act. no need to sit in complete silence while i do my thing and make me wonder if a.) you are actually a lurker waiting to catch me with my pants down in order to rape/kill/rob me or b.) you have died in the stall next door due to unforeseen circumstances. if i worry enough about b, i might have to force my way either under or over the stall wall and this would no doubt result in a very awkward situation for the both of us if it was done in vain. do not misunderstand me - i'm not asking for screams or conversations while you're dropping a deuce but an occasional cough or rustle of the toilet seat cover to let me know you're still kickin' would suffice. and don't be shy about doing your business. that's what bathrooms are for. i, in turn, will not feel like the jerk when my morning coffee kicks in. if you know what i'm sayin'.
3. comment on the amount of lists that i make. yes, i'm aware. it's my bag, ok? this is what i do. you can either dig it or get out of the kitchen.
4. talk to me while wearing a blue-tooth. actually, don't wear a blue-tooth, period. i understand driving laws and all of the here and there and what have you, but unless you are driving and one of your limbs has flown out of the window of your automobile, there is no reason for you to be making a phone call on your "headset".
5. leave 1/3 of a cup of coffee in the bottom of the pot right before a meeting. that's just rude. there are no two ways around it.
6. stand directly behind or in front of me on an escalator. i know people who feel my pain on this one. there are at least 200 steps on most of these bad boys, and let's be honest, unless you're a pick-pocket or you want to get into my pants, there's no reason for you to be so close. i don't want to feel you breathing if i don't know who you are.
7. last but not least - shove all hangers from the rack that we are both shopping from over to my end. don't do that. we can share the same space, and most certainly the same rack of clothing. people do it all the time. that's what shopping is about. and while i'm on this subject, do not let your children crawl in and out of said clothing racks. i don't want to sustain injuries from unexpected cardiac arrest while in nordstrom rack. i'm looking at sevens that i'll never fit into and boom! here's your 5-year-old's face peering at me through a rack full of jeans. your kid has just taken 10 years off of my life. do the math:
1 5 year-old + $118.00 7 jeans + 27 year old me - 10 years = not good.
it doesn't all add up to be worth it.