Meet me while I'm in the city
and see everything is so fine
We'll get together now darling
Oh yes we will
We'll make everything alright
Now honey don't
Oh honey don't
Please, please don't leave me right now baby
Right now, right now
Oh no no no
You got me baby
You got me darling
You got me where you want me baby
Girl I know you are
Satisfied
Still begging you baby
Don't leave me here
Please, please don't leave me
Right now baby, right now , right now
oh no no no
- the black keys
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Monday, January 26, 2009
trash vs. treasure.
this isn't a relationship, baby.
it's a competition.
and no matter how much i love you -
i
just
can't
win.
it's a competition.
and no matter how much i love you -
i
just
can't
win.
Thursday, January 8, 2009
ways to make me angry, pt.1
1. stop and stare into my office window every time you walk down the hall. not to be confused with a passing glance or short wave "hello" while you hurry by. no, this is more of a "stop and stare at me while i'm in the middle of very important things and wait for me to look up and acknowledge you" type of thing. see also: tapping on glass until i look up from my computer. this is not a zoo/pet shop and if it were there are usually signs restricting you from doing that type of thing so really its not ok no matter how you look at it.
2. silence in a bathroom stall. i already despise public restrooms, but please help to make my experience a little more enjoyable by avoiding that whole "sitting very still" thing. the door is locked, so yes, i believe i've already caught you in the act. no need to sit in complete silence while i do my thing and make me wonder if a.) you are actually a lurker waiting to catch me with my pants down in order to rape/kill/rob me or b.) you have died in the stall next door due to unforeseen circumstances. if i worry enough about b, i might have to force my way either under or over the stall wall and this would no doubt result in a very awkward situation for the both of us if it was done in vain. do not misunderstand me - i'm not asking for screams or conversations while you're dropping a deuce but an occasional cough or rustle of the toilet seat cover to let me know you're still kickin' would suffice. and don't be shy about doing your business. that's what bathrooms are for. i, in turn, will not feel like the jerk when my morning coffee kicks in. if you know what i'm sayin'.
3. comment on the amount of lists that i make. yes, i'm aware. it's my bag, ok? this is what i do. you can either dig it or get out of the kitchen.
4. talk to me while wearing a blue-tooth. actually, don't wear a blue-tooth, period. i understand driving laws and all of the here and there and what have you, but unless you are driving and one of your limbs has flown out of the window of your automobile, there is no reason for you to be making a phone call on your "headset".
5. leave 1/3 of a cup of coffee in the bottom of the pot right before a meeting. that's just rude. there are no two ways around it.
6. stand directly behind or in front of me on an escalator. i know people who feel my pain on this one. there are at least 200 steps on most of these bad boys, and let's be honest, unless you're a pick-pocket or you want to get into my pants, there's no reason for you to be so close. i don't want to feel you breathing if i don't know who you are.
7. last but not least - shove all hangers from the rack that we are both shopping from over to my end. don't do that. we can share the same space, and most certainly the same rack of clothing. people do it all the time. that's what shopping is about. and while i'm on this subject, do not let your children crawl in and out of said clothing racks. i don't want to sustain injuries from unexpected cardiac arrest while in nordstrom rack. i'm looking at sevens that i'll never fit into and boom! here's your 5-year-old's face peering at me through a rack full of jeans. your kid has just taken 10 years off of my life. do the math:
1 5 year-old + $118.00 7 jeans + 27 year old me - 10 years = not good.
it doesn't all add up to be worth it.
2. silence in a bathroom stall. i already despise public restrooms, but please help to make my experience a little more enjoyable by avoiding that whole "sitting very still" thing. the door is locked, so yes, i believe i've already caught you in the act. no need to sit in complete silence while i do my thing and make me wonder if a.) you are actually a lurker waiting to catch me with my pants down in order to rape/kill/rob me or b.) you have died in the stall next door due to unforeseen circumstances. if i worry enough about b, i might have to force my way either under or over the stall wall and this would no doubt result in a very awkward situation for the both of us if it was done in vain. do not misunderstand me - i'm not asking for screams or conversations while you're dropping a deuce but an occasional cough or rustle of the toilet seat cover to let me know you're still kickin' would suffice. and don't be shy about doing your business. that's what bathrooms are for. i, in turn, will not feel like the jerk when my morning coffee kicks in. if you know what i'm sayin'.
3. comment on the amount of lists that i make. yes, i'm aware. it's my bag, ok? this is what i do. you can either dig it or get out of the kitchen.
4. talk to me while wearing a blue-tooth. actually, don't wear a blue-tooth, period. i understand driving laws and all of the here and there and what have you, but unless you are driving and one of your limbs has flown out of the window of your automobile, there is no reason for you to be making a phone call on your "headset".
5. leave 1/3 of a cup of coffee in the bottom of the pot right before a meeting. that's just rude. there are no two ways around it.
6. stand directly behind or in front of me on an escalator. i know people who feel my pain on this one. there are at least 200 steps on most of these bad boys, and let's be honest, unless you're a pick-pocket or you want to get into my pants, there's no reason for you to be so close. i don't want to feel you breathing if i don't know who you are.
7. last but not least - shove all hangers from the rack that we are both shopping from over to my end. don't do that. we can share the same space, and most certainly the same rack of clothing. people do it all the time. that's what shopping is about. and while i'm on this subject, do not let your children crawl in and out of said clothing racks. i don't want to sustain injuries from unexpected cardiac arrest while in nordstrom rack. i'm looking at sevens that i'll never fit into and boom! here's your 5-year-old's face peering at me through a rack full of jeans. your kid has just taken 10 years off of my life. do the math:
1 5 year-old + $118.00 7 jeans + 27 year old me - 10 years = not good.
it doesn't all add up to be worth it.
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
for office mary; stuck in snowy new jersey on a tuesday.
to do today:
1. seek out office mate who keeps faxing blank documents to my desk and pose the question, "do you or do you not understand the icon affixed to the top of the fax feeder that displays the side of the page on which the text should be facing when sent through the actual fax machine?" explain that if said icon shows lines facing downward, said office mate is feeding the fax machine incorrectly, and vice versa. proceed to hand back 32 sheets of blank paper and ask said employee to try again.
2. research the ingredients in a $.99 bag of Cheetos puffs and a can of Dr. Pepper. cross-compare them to find out why the aftertaste from the combination of the two is both disgusting and reminscent of stale walnuts.
3. look into possible explanations as to why all of my ex-boyfriends to whom i am still strongly sexually attracted to have either internet personas or musical acts that are somehow directly related to david bowie and/or his lyrics.
4. research how to remove cheeto stains from black express slacks.
5. fish 6 "sign here" sticky arrows out of my "damn i'm good" coffee cup.
6. sneak into coworker's office down the hall and unplug glade christmas scented air freshener so that my clothing no longer smells like apples and cinnamon when i leave work.
7. hop on craigslist to look for a faux house for me and blommy to move in to when he comes back from ny. also use precious craigslist time to look up pets for adoption for no particular reason.
8. figure out why the "e" key on my keyboard appears to be the only letter that has rubbed off; perhaps create a project researching how many times a day on average the letter "e" is used. 24 times in that last sentence. now 28.
9. get my pepsi out of the work freezer before it explodes.
10. find all english speaking nail salon in the central sd area so that i don't have to make a stop at "fashion nails" in coronado just so the vietnamese women can hurt my pride and induce an anxiety attack when they whisper to one another from across the room and chuckle quietly to themselves. either find new salon close to the office, or learn how to speak vietnamese.
1. seek out office mate who keeps faxing blank documents to my desk and pose the question, "do you or do you not understand the icon affixed to the top of the fax feeder that displays the side of the page on which the text should be facing when sent through the actual fax machine?" explain that if said icon shows lines facing downward, said office mate is feeding the fax machine incorrectly, and vice versa. proceed to hand back 32 sheets of blank paper and ask said employee to try again.
2. research the ingredients in a $.99 bag of Cheetos puffs and a can of Dr. Pepper. cross-compare them to find out why the aftertaste from the combination of the two is both disgusting and reminscent of stale walnuts.
3. look into possible explanations as to why all of my ex-boyfriends to whom i am still strongly sexually attracted to have either internet personas or musical acts that are somehow directly related to david bowie and/or his lyrics.
4. research how to remove cheeto stains from black express slacks.
5. fish 6 "sign here" sticky arrows out of my "damn i'm good" coffee cup.
6. sneak into coworker's office down the hall and unplug glade christmas scented air freshener so that my clothing no longer smells like apples and cinnamon when i leave work.
7. hop on craigslist to look for a faux house for me and blommy to move in to when he comes back from ny. also use precious craigslist time to look up pets for adoption for no particular reason.
8. figure out why the "e" key on my keyboard appears to be the only letter that has rubbed off; perhaps create a project researching how many times a day on average the letter "e" is used. 24 times in that last sentence. now 28.
9. get my pepsi out of the work freezer before it explodes.
10. find all english speaking nail salon in the central sd area so that i don't have to make a stop at "fashion nails" in coronado just so the vietnamese women can hurt my pride and induce an anxiety attack when they whisper to one another from across the room and chuckle quietly to themselves. either find new salon close to the office, or learn how to speak vietnamese.
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